Things that Sneak up on You

So, that wasn't so smart now that I see how it ended up.  I still don't know why I did that.....why I went backwards.  I just have no idea.  At one time I would have thought it was the self defeating behavior I've been know to practice off and on the past seven years except I don't do that anymore.  

This was very weird.  But it needs saying again.......believe people the first time they show you who they are and just let people do the same lame shit they do without caring and letting it affect you.  This situation has shown me something though.......I've changed.  I've grown.  I'm not anywhere near the same person I used to be and that is in a good way.  For awhile I wondered if it was good but now I know it is.  

This morning I started to have an argument in my head with this person but then I just stopped.  What was the point?  I'd be so stupid if I even bothered to say those things to this person.  It prolongs something I don't want it my life and keeps the connection with someone I don't want in my life.  Yeah, it would feel good for a little bit to speak my mind and show this person EXACTLY who they are dealing with.  But not worth it.  I don't want anything else to do with this person so there will be no more communication ever.  

It is so annoying not to be listened to, given the chance to explain your feelings, having what you say which is the way you are feeling be dismissed and just about being told you are a liar.  Oh yes, and being told exactly what you are feeling like they are you and they know how you feel about something.  Stupidest thing I ever heard.  You aren't me, you don't know what I've been through, and you sure as hell don't know my feelings or why I do anything.  So, don't tell me what you think I'm doing or feeling or why I do the things I do.  How stupid is that?  You know what I really love? I don't lie.  I'll hit you with the straight up truth 100% of the time.  Especially if it is about me, my feelings, or what I think.  I really love pretty much being told what I'm saying about something isn't the truth.  Really?  I'm very in touch with my feelings and why I do the things I do.  

So, you just need to live your sorry little life in your apartment with your cousin now, evidently.  Keep on getting your DUI's and ending up in court until court becomes jail for you.  Keep on believing the shit you spew from your mouth.  There is nothing redeeming about you at all.  That's my downfall sometimes...or it used to be.....thinking I can "save" or "change" someone.  

Never again.........