No Name

No Name.......because I couldn't pick one.  Too much going on. 

Two years ago today it all started.  The single thing in my life that affected me more than anything else ever has.  No way to see any of it coming. Everyone thinks I'm sad or it is a hard day but it isn't at all.  Can't be sad or depressed when you don't want anything to do with it and it just doesn't matter.  She doesn't matter.  If I feel any random sadness it is because she doesn't matter not because of anything else. That's sad.  

This year I feel rich in some ways.  I've weeded out the people I don't need in my life and the ones that are left are bricks in my foundation.They're not going anywhere. They filled my Christmas with parties, presents, and their love and time.  

Love the changes I've made and am still making in my house.  So much so it seems harder to leave it.  I get too attached. 

I wonder do I have the strength and resilience to do this when I never would have doubted myself.  Now, that is what happens when you've been beat down and beat down. 

I just wonder what this time next year will be like.