This is probably going to ramble. A lot of the time I wonder how much more I'm expected to take, what exactly it is I do to get these crazy people, and why they change their mind.
This is how it goes. You're friends with someone for a very long time and have a lot of great times. They are one of your best friends and you THINK it will always be that way. Why wouldn't it be?
It is no secret that my life has not been easy the past year. That's a whole book right there. Then before this past year, it wasn't great either for those four years either. And before that the 10 years and 3 months weren't so great either but they were better than the past five.
End of May/beginning of June this year I finally learned a lesson I'd been trying to learn my whole life. It was painful......very painful but in the end it can make things better. It certainly changed me.
So through that experience and my sessions with my therapist, I came to some new conclusions about life and I made it to that place where I practiced what I believed.......just let people do the lame shit they are going to do, don't think it is about you, and just move on and do your own thing. Things were going fine until........
This is what always happens to me. For no reason, people just turn into this person they've never been before. They expect you do be there for them and do everything for them but they will never do anything for you. They just stop talking to you all the time like they have always done. They stop making time for you. I could go on. So, you adapt and you move on and now I follow the rule......just let people do the lame shit they are going to do, don't think it is about you, and just move on and do your own thing. Works good until one of these people decide they made a mistake, they apologize, they want to be all best friends again. Then you just don't know what to do. I don't.
That happened twice to me yesterday. Once from someone who hasn't had a desire to really talk to me or anything for three years. Then they want to reconnect but three months go by and nothing. So you call them out on in on a bad day and you just felt like standing up for yourself. Then they're all over you about calling them and everything else. Have the nerve to ask if YOU are mad at them when they stopped talking to you. So I explained it. I tried and you didn't so I gave up. I need stability in my life right now and I'm not investing any time with someone who can forget you for three years. No response........yeah, you're really in to being my friend again rather than just someone I know.
Then, after dealing with that get two texts from someone I had a problem with a month ago. The problem was they kept going through all this bad crazy stuff but they wouldn't give me details. But they wanted me to be there for them even though I had no clue what was happening. Then they just start ignoring me. I thought I knew why....they'd said too much. I didn't know everything going on but they had told me some things and I think they regretted it and that's why I was ignored. Called them out on it and they went on about being depressed and they don't what was wrong and they were just going to ignore everyone. Except they didn't....they ignored me because I was the one who knew their little secrets they wish they had never shared. Nothing changed with anyone else. So back the texts from yesterday....I get the apology and I get the truth that they were acting the way I said they were. Here I am, moved on from these people and then in one day they all of the sudden want to be best friends again. I don't know what to do. One I just told what she'd missed the past three years and the place I was in now and was NOT a place where anyone was allowed to be if they going to ignore me for three years. The other one, I don't know what to say so I just said that. Everyone agrees she says she hates drama but she is the drama and I need to leave her alone.
But mostly if I am sticking to my mantra....letting people do their lame shit, believing it isn't about me, and moving on and doing my own thing then I don't want a relationship with them again. That's my true feelings, right there. If there is one thing I'm great at, it is getting rid of someone I don't want in my life.
Sad thing is these people used to mean something to me. It hurt realizing they changed your relationship and you didn't even know why. But you get over it and you move on and it is NOT fair for them to come back around later wanting what we had back. And who is to say that they just wouldn't do the same thing all over again. Can't go through it again. WON'T go through it again!
No response from them anyway and that says it all right there. No one not willing to fight for you is worth anything anyway after already treating you the way they did.
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