Funny but not funny....

So, here I am on vacation in my favorite place.  Last night I went out to my favorite beach bar/restaurant and haven't been sitting at the bar long at all till this guy and girl come along and sit next to me.  They introduce themselves and then the guy asks me if I'm empathic.  So we talk about that and did a lot of sharing about that and other "gifts".  Things are fine but the longer we sit and talk the more I really pay attention to the subtle signs of who these people really are. Don't get me wrong....they were nice people and probably the situation was just innocent and it was what it was. But then there is the paranoid side of me that gets into the "what ifs".  The little signs they sent or things they would say that I could read other things into gave them away about some things about their lives that aren't just out there for everyone to see.  Towards the end of the conversation before they had to leave I had this thought.  What if these two were out for what they can get from anyone. It was obvious they weren't exactly career oriented people.  Then the thought came.......who would notice me missing first if I was stupid enough to leave a public place with these people and they were crazies. It isn't funny but then it kind of was because the little "what if" paranoid side of me will probably never go away.  I can imagine all kinds of things that never even happen.

That's the sad part....I don't know who would notice me missing.  It isn't like anyone is checking up on me.  I don't have anyone to call every night before I go to bed anymore to check in with.  All the other people I would call or text on a regular basis aren't in the picture either.  Who would notice and how long would it take if something did happen to me?? Would I be that Jane Doe in a different place no one knows if something did happen?  There are people who should know I'm here that don't. Weird thoughts.....

The great thing is tonight's sunset was gorgeous and going and sitting out on the beach and watching it made the sadness go away.  Sadness I can't escape from. Time will handle that but the hole will always be there.